Journal Gazette from Mattoon, Illinois • Page 12

LIFESTYLES B6 0 Thursday, December 28, 2038 www.lg-tc.coni Unusual names can trip up kids at school and in life I nffi- ft DEAR ABBY i. i i. HUNTSVILLE, ALA. DEAR ABBY: I can tell you first-hand that an unusual name can be a handicap socially and in business. My mother shortened a family name and added an ending that comes from a language not in my bloodline.

It was humiliating when I was growing up. People do not remember names because they are "unique." No one ever forgets the name "Mary." I believe I have missed many business contacts because people felt awkward because they couldn't remember my name, and it has caused trouble because documents and contracts often had to be redone due to a misspelling. Please urge your readers to consider this when naming a child. Growing up and business life are hard enough to negotiate without having to fight for your identity every five minutes. Trust me.

"TM" KENTUCKY teacher, told me about one of her students. His name was spelled on all school documents as "Demacus," so that's how all the school officials and all the boy's friends pronounced it. One day, the boy's mother came to pick him up from school, heard the teacher call the boy "Demacus," and became indignant that she was "mispronouncing his name it's DemaRcus!" The teacher pointed out that his name was spelled without the on all his paperwork, and the mother grew even more irate, stating, "Well, I don't know how to spell it, but it's DemaRcus!" If you can't spell it, please pick another name! JENNIFER INTEXAS DEAR ABBY: Thank you for pointing out the social implications of odd name spellings. I encountered a little boy who, I am sure, has felt the impact of this every day of his life. His name is Jade.

His mother pronounced it something like Zhar-day. When she told me, I looked at that beautiful little boy, shook my head and said, "I'm sorry." CHARLES IN than 25 years in newborn nurseries. Too often people give cute and original names that only end up being a burden. Many a time have I asked a child's name, only to hear one that will make that child cringe in the future. And often, these same parents go out of their way to make the spelling impossible! Suggestion: Give a basic middle name the child can fall back on if needed.

Please remember that in the flash of an eye, that baby will be in school, where other children will be cruel. R.N. FROM ALBUQUERQUE DEAR R.N.: You're right. A woman once wrote me that her daughter intended to name her baby girl Diana Rhea, which I emphatically discouraged. DEAR ABBY: That letter reminded me of a story my mother, a retired school Broom's Annual Redfern --60th OAKLAND Mr.

and Mrs. Rodney Redfern Sr. of Oakland will observe their 60th anniversary on Sunday. An open house is planned from 1 to 4 p.m. Saturday at the Ashmore Community Center.

The couple request no gifts. Redfern and Cleo Hatfield were married Dec. 31, 1946, in Trilla Their parents are Walter W. and Myrtle J. (Beals) Redfern and John L.

and Delia M. (Zimmerman) Hatfield. The couple have six children, Delia Ritchey (husband John) and Rodney Redfern all of Oakland; Don (wife Sheri) of Humboldt; John (wife Libby) Redfern and Penny Shinholster, all of Mat-toon; and Missy (husband Denis) Johnson of Kansas. They have 16 grandchildren Cornwell 50th WEST YORK Mr. and Mrs.

Daniel Roscoe Cornwell will observe their 50th wedding anniversary on Monday. No formal celebration is planned, but cards, letters and notes of remembrances would be appreciated. Cornwell and Opal Marie Graham were married Jan. 1, 1957, by the Rev. Carl Carpenter at his home in Martinsville.

They were attended by Charles Kenderdine and Nova Shelton. He is the son of the late Ross and Golda Cornwell, and she is the daughter of the late Roscoe and Mary Graham. They have six children, Dan Cornwell, Yuma, J.R. Cornwell, Annapolis; Bill (wife Beth) Cornwell, Toledo; Laura Redman, Hutsonville; Robert (wife Tricia) Corn-well, Marshall; and Jerry Cornwell, West York. They Butler 40th MATTOON Mr.

and Mrs. Joe Butler will celebrate their 40th anniversary on Saturday. Butler and Patty Closson were married Dec. 30, 1966, at the First Baptist Church by the Rev. Elliott.

The couple was attended by Ted Butler and Connie (Goldsmith) Coventry. Mr. and Their parents are June and Thelma Butler, and Ralph and Lorraine Closson, all deceased. Their children are Tammy Craig (husband Jeff), Danville; and Mark Butler (wife Carrie), Augusta, Ga, They also have four grand- WHAFS HAPPENING Ring in 2007 With Our Biggest Sale of the Season! Up to 5 DEAR READERS: Yesterday I printed some of the letters I received from readers who felt I was wrong to advise a stepmother to caution her stepdaughter about giving her baby a name that will be pronounced differently than it is spelled. Today, I'll share the thoughts of those who felt my advice was on target.

Read on: DEAR ABBY: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your response concerning the odd spelling of a baby's name! I have worked in the public school system and in customer service, and I speak for many when I say that nothing is more annoying than trying to figure out how to pronounce or spell an invented name. It's also frustrating for the owners of the names, who must spend their lives explaining to people how to spell and pronounce the names their parents stuck them with. Some parents (usually young ones) seem to think a weird name is "cute." Nothing is further from the truth. Thank you for having the courage to speak out for babies who have no choice in the matter. LINDA IN PHOENIX DEAR ABBY: I have worked as a nurse for more Zoole Open house planned for Eunice Zoole 96th birthday MATTOON Eunice Stroud Zoole will celebrate her 96th birthday on Saturday with an open house hosted by her family.

The open house will be from 2 to 3:30 p.m. in the dining room of Brookstone Estates, 2008 S. Ninth Mattoon. Mrs. Zoole was born Dec.

31, 1910. She was married for more than 50 years to Dr. Asher Zoole. Mrs. Zoole worked as a registered nurse, was active in church wherever she lived, and has always been a devoted aunt to her many nieces and nephews.

She would appreciate cards. something wrong, and yet I haven't. I want to know why it hurts so bad, yet feels so good. CONFUZZED Dear CONFUZZED, If only you had written to me sooner, we could have had fun with this. Instead of sending a letter to the teacher revealing the truth, you could have sent a letter to all the parents on school letterhead inviting them to the "Choir Camp" holiday spectacular.

Once your friends discovered the letter, you could have suggested using the stolen money from the parents to buy costumes for the show. I mean, better to put on a show than reveal the truth. Then, the night of the show, the parents could show up and punish everyone after you all take your final bows. Your parents would pretend to punish you because they would be in on the plan. If someone is going to lie and steal, they might as well put on a holiday show for their parents.

Making the moral and ethical choice doesn't always make you the most popular person, so you might as well have fun exposing their lies. The truth hurts, but it gets better with time. Help Me Harlan is distributed by King Features Syndicate. Furniture in our Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. The column is distributed by the Universal Press Syndicate.

a flooring custom blinds. details. eyes 3D I Showroom Based on Manufacturers Suggested Retail Mr. and Mrs. Rodney Redfern and 21 great-grandchildren.

Redfern was self-employed, but is now retired. Mrs. Redfern retired from General Electric. Cards may be sent to the couple at 858 E. 1280th Oakland, IL 61943.

Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Cornwell have six grandchildren. Cornwell owned and operated Cornwell's Sawmill until his retirement. Mrs.

Cornwell also helped with the sawmill, farmed, and was a full-time homemaker. Cards may be sent to the couple at 12899 E. 300th Road, West York, IL 62478. Mrs. Joe Butler children.

Butler is retired from the City of Mattoon. Mrs. Butler is retired from Eastern Illinois University and is employed part-time at Lake Land College. They reside at 2005 DeWitt Mattoon, IL 61938. HELP ME HARLAN you want to get to know her.

Instead of talking about having a better relationship, this is how you can have one. If she's incapable of giving you what you need or want, continue turning to a friend's mom or another adult who can be there for you. But don't stop trying your mom could use her daughter's help. Dear Harlan, I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I told on a group of my friends. They recently forged a letter saying that they were going to a choir camp and that their parents needed to give them money to pay for the trip.

I wrote a letter to one of the teachers stating what they had just done. I didn't include my name. The very next day, they figured out that it was me, and now they are making me feel bad. I haven't admitted to them that it was me. They keep on remarking and constantly making me feel like I've done iv- i Or 24 Months Free Financing Fun day planned at library The Westfield Library will host a fun day from 1 to 4 p.m." today.

Refreshments will be served and a kids storytime will begin at 2:30 p.m. The public is invited to this free event. With Qualified Purchase Approved Credit a Mom can't see she needs help connecting with child orders, previous purchases, layaways, Other restrictions apply. See store for Friday, December 29th: Saturday, December 30th: 4:00 PM Sunday, December 31st: Noon Monday, January 1st: 1 1 'Excludes special ear Harlan, My mom and I don't have the kind of mother-daughter relationship I want to have. I feel she doesn't even know me any more.

She refuses to give me "the talk," and even I find it awkward to talk to her about personal stuff. I go to other people for help instead of her. She doesn't even know my boyfriend, and we love each other and have for eight months now. And I'm kind of scared of what her reaction will be if I tell her. What should I do? -Confused Kid Dear Confused Kid, Some of the most loving mothers in the world can't connect with their kids.

Some don't listen; some don't talk; and some don't know how to talk or listen. A lot never talked to their parents, so they never learned how to talk to their kids. Others are dealing with personal issues that get in the way. I know it's a lot to ask, but your mom could use your help. Instead of avoiding her or waiting for her, talk to her.

Ask about her relationship with her mom when she was your age. Ask her if she ever got "the talk." As if she dated. Just ask about her. If she wants to know why you're so interested, tell her.