Mattoon Gazette from Mattoon, Illinois • Page 6

A ISA? TXA2 .1123 rzz roa orncs. VThm I walked down stroot next day the perception of my new relations with the Diiblio flumrised me like the sBook IS. iMJjrrjXtjL -WJ 14 mwM ft 1 faLJaLTT 1 vnuo -MMMty -far tm tfr-fii -POB i. POULTRY AND EGGS. yourjtime to sell Western Avenue, Mattoon, III.

Now is No. 35 "The Best Thing to him. PIANSO AN'D ORGANS This bcautilnl instrument ia too well knoff to DCfn ucscri jrtton. OVER 75,000 aro row sinning tluir own praie. Why buy-any other oigau, when you can get the ESTEY -4 As as It ii tlie only lottntme'ut containing the BEAUTIFUL VOX HUMANA n.

the wonderful mm THE FARMING LANDS OtTKULD FOR i A LOW KATKS AND Are Unsurpssed iti i Vox Special Low Rates of Fare KN TO M.I. Wllo 1KMRE TO Vijsit that Beautiful Valley Extra ear-luiul. to Next regular Excursion ivill leave Tuesday April 18th. an' battery, much, Jedsre!" I plead not guilty, then?" I do" It was clearly proved, nowever, that inQfiked-dDWDL Mrs. Annie Leflalone, a widow-not only once, put several times, mere were no witnesses for the defense, and thhfga looked bine for William.

Then he was sworn in bis own behalf. Mr. Bilge, as he stood up before Judge Cox, could not be called beautiful His face was wrinkled and dirty one eye was missing; a pieoe of his nose was gone--bitten off in the good old days when Virginia wasn't the law abiding citizen she has since grown to be. William's clothes wero ragged and greasy. What little hair he had left huug about his coat collar, and his toes toes that had toddled over rough ways for fifty years and more peeped out from the broken boots to view the wintry aspect of things.

"I was aittin' on a rock down in Six Mile Canyon yesterday," began. Mr. Bilge, struggling with his emotion, "thinkin' what I'd better do to Dick Myers for hustlin me out of his saloon, when along comes this here washerwoman. (It was in evidence that Mrs. Lefb-loae toiled nt the tub professionally when Chinese laundries would engage her.) Sez she, 'How are you 'How's yourself sez fur never seein' the lady before, I was bound to be p'lite.

-Got any grub in yer seams sez she. 'Hey sez clutchin' the results of my mornin's divin' round tho saloons. 'Shake out 'yer sez she, droppin' down on anotner rocu an wipm ner moutn with the tail of her iross, hungry like. I was always a favtrrite with the ladies," proceeded Mr. Bilge, with a slight cough, "and of course I couldn't resist such pressin' attention.

I gev her a cracker an' a hunk o' cheese that I'd nabbed at Barnoy the Bruiser's an' yer Honor, I'd have let her walk into the cold chop in my vest pocket if she'd only behaved Ler'-elf. what dye think that rdt: she'd et up half "I a i.uow, I'm sure," said his Honor, with n. yawn, "hut I wish you'd hurry through with your story." "All right, sir, yours truly, William T. Esquire, at your service. I was eutiu' slow to make things last, when suddenly this female pits hold on my hand, aud dz she, 'Air you married 'Hey sez I.

'Air you married sez she. 'Not sez I. 'Glory, 7 she it's leap year, so have That's all, yer Ht-noi-. As a don't want to go inter disgustin' pertick'ci about evil i.tteuipts, etsettery, but" "Did you strike her, Bilc his Honor. "Did I strike lie; cried tho i bummer, lifting his lmuuri in "Course I did.

I'd punch ili-head of any woman marry her if she -if she insists yon know." The prisoner wan disLU.ireJ. Inia Chronicle. FIHGSBS. "John," called little Mrs. rear.wn after her husband as he left home in the morning, "stop nt French's rne three fingers of that new moyenai-lace, and a spool of white silk.

John braced himself up, and repeats! the message: "Three fingers of silk, and a spool of white lace tnen ne saw a car coming, and lieu up threo fingers that he might not forgei the message wliile he hailed the driver As ne took Lis seat he murmured, 'Three fingers of moraine papers. boy millionage," and he subsided into tne paper, while he kept his fingers extended in the air. An old lady who sat neit to him saw his lips move, and whispered to her daughter that, "there was another Moody convert" when the conductor came around. John stared at him. and rerjeated.

"Three fingers, but tho conductor took him by the collar, and told him to pay his fare. At the office the clerk asked him a question about the day's business, but the only answer he could get was "Three fingers of invoices when he went to lunch, he rushed inti the first restaurant and being pas, speech, conld oulv hold up three fingers. wmcu mo ouiiging young man Denino: the counter at once proceeded to pour out. When John's wife saw him next he was hatless aud coatless, sitting with a vacant oxprosaion of countenance behind tho bats of a cell, in the station, and a reiMuterhad just commenced to write, "Murderer Arrested Talks of nothing else than the three fingers of his victim Horrible disclosures expected ibe little woman paid John a fine, and took him home, where he slept stupidly till the next day, when he declared his coffee mast have been drugged. Mrs.

John says it's just what you might expect of a man he never- has srnao enough to carry a dry goods message, without losing his balance I AN OLD-TIME BEAR 8T0ST. The Bennington Banner reprints from an old paper a communication from that town, dated December 2o, 1717, which quaintly tells this story. "A very odd kind of a providence happened lately in our neighborhood, viz. Mr Zebulon, a farmer living anou uvc miles northeast by north of this township, having trained up a couple of large bears to the plow and other services, chipped them before his sled last week with twenty schipples of wheat for the new city. The animals drew extremely well for four miles and a half, when, the halter of the near bear giving way, the farmer set about replacing it but, while lie was thus employed, the brute, seizing him by the right leg, tore it miserably, and, both bears hauling at once, ran away with the sled, so that it was with the utmost difficulty he got home in four hours on foot Messengers were dispatched to look for the sled and cargo, and two days being spent in fruitless search, they were civen un for lost but on tho third, at noon, the noise of a team near the house was heard, aud young Gad.

Stanhope jumped up to see who war, coining, when, behold! to bis great astonishment, it proved to the two beam drawing the sled into the barn, witu noeailhly thinp in it except four large bean and throe cubs. The Ind ana two men tnav usp uenod to be then in the house ran nun bly, and, slutting the burn door, with my long gun snot tnem on turougu crevice." Th Im'mnJ and wife (vnfterTie.i in i Ban IVanriaeo divorce suit axe also utw Ao nnd nioee. It is said that there is a prosperous otSoiiy--of-Americans, numbering 600 Brazil i The experiment of raising Angora goats in moantainous regions of Arizona has already proven a substantial Success. Some Jersey City school girls attacked some loafer who insulted them, aud beat him with their satchels until lie was obliged to call upon a policeman for protection. A tramp was recently sentenced to years in the House of Correction for refusing to saw wood at the North An-dover, Almshouse, in payment for lodging and breakfast I The State of Sinoloa, Mexico, has three large cotton mills.

None df tho goods are exported, the home demand bfiiug fully equal to the supply. The State- of California has not a cotton mil At the marriage of an Alabama widower, one fof the servants was asked if his master would take a bridal tour. "Dornip, sah; when old missus's olive he took a paddle to her dunno if he take a bridle to de new one or not." A twenty-five-cent pamphlet, full of thinly-disjruished abuse of tho royal family of England, has attainedin London a circulation of over 120,000 copies. A ivrrospondent writes: "it is as near as the author dare coino for a shilhug." tie was a member of the African church, and after he was scalded to deatii by a boiler explosion, his bereaved associates erected a tombstone, on which was chiselled, "Sa-red to the memory of our 'cteemed friend." A man tamed a dog that somebody sent him, until the docile creature would eat off Ins hand. At least it ate off about three-quarters of his thumb, but died of conensmon of the brain beforo it could finish the hand.

A Paris street car company has given its passengers immense satisfaction by placing vessels heated with charcoal dust under their feeti. The heat thrown out is said to be quite sudicient for warming the cars efficiently. A very successful swindler is John Collins, who has sold half interest in mythical patent to about fifty persons in various Western cities, making thereby more than 310.000. He will also get 6ome maintenance in prison. Here is a soliloquy of a Parisian inebriate, addressed to his hat, which had fallen It was overheard one night on the Boulevards: "If I pick yon up, I fall if I fall, you will not pick me up then I leave you and he staggered proudly away.

A bill introduced in the Ohio Legislature to make one year of drunken Labits the part of the husband a legal cause for divorce has excited much eoaiuieut throughout the countrv. A Jlissiwjippi editor wants the time short ened to three weoks. -Mr. Spurgeon allowed his twin sons to freely choose their callings. One be- caino a clerk and the other an engineer's apprentice but, after all, these chips of the old block are now engaged in the ministerial work.

It is said that Charles Spurgeon, "gives promise of becoming a powerful preacher. The Ponghkeepsie Eagle says that a divorced husband recently met at the Hudson River Railroad depot in' that city his wife and child, from whom he had been separated, and while the three were talking the amxmd wife of the divorced man stood looking on. When the bell rang the man bade his first wife good-bye, and hurried his second wife into the car. An English mechanic recently kept his child at home because there wero other children in his house who had the measles and whooping cough. He was arrested, fined three shillings, and not permitted to go home to get the money, but was confined in a dark cell all night, his hair was cropped, and lie was forced to put on prison clothing.

His wife with difficulty heard where he was, paid his fine, and he was lilxrated. A San Antonio saloon keeper, hoping to scare off a fn- lunch fiend, aid: "There's trichina in them sausages." Tim fiend took another mouthful, and said with difficulty, "Colonel, did you there was strychnine in these victuals?" "Yes, enough to kill a hop-." "Well," chewing vigorously, "Ihut what my family physician gives ine for a tonic when I hain't go no appetite." A single manufacturer of perfumery nt Cannes, France, usee annually 140,000 pounds of orange blossoms, 129,000 pounds of acacia flowers, 140,000 pounds of rose leaves, 32,000 pounds of violets, pounds of tuberoses, and rone-mary, mint, thyme, lemons, and citrous in proportionate quantities. Nice aud ('amies together col. ume annually over 20 tons of violets, and Nice alone 180 tons of orange blossoms. A Chinese doctor says that Ameri.

cans boil tea, and thereoy lose the flavor, while the Chinese make it by infusion. They place a small quantity of tea leaves in a bowl, pour boiling water upon it, and then cover the bowl. The strength of the tea depends on the time the tea is allowed to draw. "And," said the speaker, "when making an infusion, do noi boil the water liastily at first Milk or sugar should never be used with tea." A curious illustration of the non chalance and carelessness of Parisians is afforded by tho returns of the "Found Property" Department in the French metropolis. Of 3,684 objects and valuables found in 1875 only 441 have been claimed by aud returned to tlio legiti mate owners, and there remain unclaim ed numerous articles ot valuable jewelry, watdiei'v bracelets, and portmon- naies containing large sums of money in small notes, as well as 100 francs and even 600 francs bank notes.

The Amador (Col. Ledger relates now John Travis, an Austrian, haying accumulated 81,800 started for bis old homo, tying his gold around his body, At Hamburg a plank, laid for the pas sengers to go ashore, broke poor Tra vis was immersed, and felt that las gold nas dragging him down. He loosened and dropped it, and was rescued, but the lost treasure was not recovered. had enough left to take him home nd back to California; so backie went to Dccome once more a miner at Amador. of a gelid bath.

Instead of the cold and somewhat shy deferenoe habitually ao erred manners, I was accosted with an eaBT" andaggrcsaiTe My rirrht wnn crushed with the cordial- ity of fellows whose names' were rm-' known to mev and my ribs ached with the friendly pokes of peoplet whosa former acquaintance had' never trans cended a distant nod. Tom introduced me to his neighbor Dick, end Pick presented his friend Harry, and Harry called np rfy fellow-citiaens Ragtag and Bobtail, and everybody wanted to know my opinions on all imaginable subjects, grangers, railroads, local option, free schools, Cuby, the nest Presidency and what not. I was seriously embarrassed at finding myself for the first time face to face with a constituency, but was humanely relieved by Bully M'Cao who stepped up and whispered in my ear, confidentially, "yon can answer all them questions most satisfactory ia. oxe word treat 1" "A friend in need is a friend indeed, and by authority my committee man led my constituency into the next grocery. Then I was followed by a bevy of little girls collecting for the Mite Society, who pertly demanded a dollar from the candidate.

Reflecting that little girls have fathers who have votes, I called np a sweet little maiden who was modestly hanging back, and gave her the dollar, with a pnt on the head and a compliment added. This was observed, and at the next corner I was boned by a maiden aunt of one of the little girls for a contribution for the heathen. Certainly, I profoundly pity the heathen, especially those whose lot is cost in our borders. I escaped into a friendly store but there the proprietor spread his stock of silks on the counter, insisting I should select a dress for madam to wear at the capital next winter. Only sixty-tire dollars the pattern.

I declined; hadn't the money. "Yexj proud to have vour name on our books," said he, bundling np the dress and sending it off by a boy vuhout my daring to object. I was next obliged to buy a raw-bened, spavined, wind-broken horse to electioneer on, because a warm friend and voter insisted on it A burly fellow claimed two dollars of me for a load of worm-eaten pine wood he had thrown eff at my door without saying "by your leave," and although he knew I peculiarly despised that kind of fuel. Hastening homeward, I wan waylaid by a disagreeable, peak-no3ed elder who had seceded from the Methodist society, and was trying to get up an opposition meeting house to divide our poor little fomniuniiy. Rowing how I condemn him and his enterprise, he now usserts his advantage, and thrusts his greasy subscription paper under my nose, with the remark "that candidates for public favors is expected to be liberal." I fork over twenty dollars with a groan.

Yesterday I was impressed with the belief that the public, "through its committeo," was soliciting a favor from me to-day the boot seems to be on the other Porte Crayon, in Harper s. HEATH IN THE DISHCLOTH. A lady nays in the Rural U'orWthat dining this month and next, when some of yon are sure to be down with the typhoid fever when neighbors are neglecting their own work to nurse you when doctors are hunting in cellars and drains for the cause, let me whisper in your ear look to yonr dishcloths. If they be black and stiff and smell like a it is enough throw them in the file, and henceforth and forever wash yonr dishes with cloths that are white, cloths that you can see through, and see if yon ever have that disease again. There are sometimes other causes, but I have swelled a whole house full of typhoid fever in one I had some neighbors once clever, good sort of folksy one fall four of them were sick at one time with typhoid fever.

The doctors ordered the vinegar barrels whitewashed, and threw about forty cents' worth of carbolic acid in the swill pail and department. I went into the kitchen and made gruel I needed a dishcloth and looked around and found and such 'rags I burned them all, and called the daughter of the house to get me a dishcloth. She look-ed around on the table. said she, 'there was about a dozen here this and she looked in the wood box and on the mantk'piece a'-)d f-lt in the cupboard. 1 said, 'I sar ome old, rotten rags lying round and I burned them, for th re death in ueh dishcloths as those and you must never use such I 'took turns' at nursing that family for week and I believe those dirty dishcloths were tho ccuse of all that hard work.

Therefore, I say to every housekeeper, keep your dishcloths clean. You may only brush and comb your head on Sundays, yon need not wear a collar unless you go from home but you must wash your dish cloth. You may only sweep the floor when the sun gets right the windows don need washing, yon can look out the door that spider's web on the front porch don't hurt anything but as you love your lives wash out your dishcloth. Let the foxtail grass grow in the garden (the seed is a foot deep anyway), let the boles in the heels of your husband's foot rags go nn darned, let the sage go unfathered, let the children's shoes go two Sundays without blacking, let the hens set four weeks on one wooden egg but do wash out vour dishcloths. Eat with out a tablecloth, wash your faoes and let' them dry, do without a curtain for your windows and cake for your tea bnf.

for heaven's sake keep your diaholoth leaou Thb Geotinb Article. One of our Yankee "drummers," says a New Haven correspondent, whose particular avoca-, tion is to supply country stores with the usual assortment of "pure" liquors, ad vanced bis interest by improving the minria of his rural customers with the facts of the case in this wine: 'Wo hare mm, and the only one in the country. Yw saej-it it. new sorae twerof jtbree sv years nnoe old BanU.Crui dfod, and, al- though the boys are getting on pretty '-well, thet eant eomfc np to the -rid man yetjiot quite and we Jiold the wily ppe of Jfce old man's He ttatfipJi A Circulars and information furnished by addressing C. B.

BOSTWICK Agts "Gazette Office," 3IATT00S, ILL. in the West!" 15 THE ON t.oN(.; TIME in the World! JO Emigrant and their Good Ageijl, ST. LOU, HO. A Naw Departure From Credit to Cash. Rapp Becker, fiKU It Special Inducements KOK CASH, In all kiu'l.

ol Family Groceries Tlir Het flnil C1h iim'1 Mock in tliet lly Whole alo mid llctail JQJ-Kxiiinlue thelrGoods beforo buying No. 0 Went Ilroadwny. FOR SALE. atu eH of choice land In good location at low prlcfl mid long time. Address or call on FRANK KERN, Mattoon, 111 Alo the VI0LETTA STOP, which iK.luifii a wn ilclicali1 of tone l.eit-tulore unknown in rceil orKun.

AHIOff PIAH0S Never iwlbre hnn pinno rlnn go in l.ivur ia time. The rUul Arjun Piino-Furt( hiv If tAirt ihi'l re. ton in tlf -a? V'nk Cmisiiritirij nf Music. it luknoflfil'jfd rttot tht moif rtre trt a Vffn "in vw'tryv nnt-int ttr tu ti ThfXftr Yurie tu'oiy MmtU- Ail THIRTY AHWX tnd irs rttiwfttlli rtrr tit tliia iiitittt 'luruliilUii fjfitltmt 'juiililiri it a ut durability xtnd ts-llntt HU'tuntnU. Our I'lait" tir ttUv Mft hti tkt hum iny Htminiirut and roHegm throughout si VniUd StuUt.und lij uf tht principal opt 'rlfptl.

The celebrated Bradlmrry i Piano. known all over the world an strictly cls. i and uwd in iircfcrciico to all nthi-rs b7 (irnnil ootral.M Mi liola.4 and hotels, New ork; Kev. sini)Miin anil lanes Iiihhops ol the M. K.cliurtli; (lev I'km'I i nrry, haidain Mel al.

1'hilHi. l'hillli. Win. Moreh run- I hon an. I thoiiKuiuUol'our leadiuK men through tliu couutry.

MARSHALL A WENDELL PIANO MARnnil.1. A Wkmikll: I thut your in the liest piuno in he country lor the price. I iK'licve that there i no better piano to tand in tune at any price. W. K.

Sl.VON, (il the firm of Smith St Nivon.Meinway AgenU liicagj, lllluols. STORY AND CAMP PIANO T1IKSE EI.KtjANT iiiftrnmcntt are iiuriia(tl, ami are o)d at exireniely lo pricw. Kvcry inntninient In fully warranted, and aold io niMnilile panic on eav time. Kull ilewriptinu and llluftrated catalogue eut to any addreiw with any Infor- mat ion ileiiii eil. STORY CAMP.

tn! i (live Mraet, M. I.oui, 'ill Mate htreet. blotgu. M. MONTGOMERY, Windsor, Agent for Coles county.

fhtrrniort p'lrtnjiorl. ntrtf. How lev people an' Inund llhout sonu Indl- i ation ol iMiin ucc. TIiim truth hatliocn rccojn mind il evernini eclin-ilc aifCB.when a sound in a Hound body a held at the iwrfci tlon ol human exltuin koiiic irmn congenial UH-ca-c, oilier. Iinin indlaeretlona.

tome from alcoholic indulm'iice or loo flee auseol lubactii. mi Iter from iirnior, palpitation or excitement -all of which eau be removed or permanently cured liy the Knjrlisli Keniexly, i lie Cordial Iliilin ol syrlcuni, which lias long been In the old country (lie favorite remedy, and whlch.slnce itn InlnMliictlnn Into this coun-f luis 1 1 l-t ii -l all other medicine having I he Mime object in low. JJ08TON, Jill) IS. 1- Dlt.t; I ieak hiR I best to inform you thai I have lieeu troubled ith nervous debility lor 1 lie pant twelve Year, and have been unable to obtalu anv relief until 1 uiirchaMri a naek)re of thd tonllal Palm of Syrlcuni at Mr lMiucaii'adrin "lore, corner of J.evereltand tin-en street. The benclH derived from the use of one package fur exceeded my expectation that I addre vou this for publication, that other aulTerem uiliy avail thenmelvt! of the opportunity to lined.

Yourntrulv, JOHN TlitTLE, liosun We take rreat pleaaure In i.ilormlnir you real pleaauru in i.itorminir you of the uriiriiitKly benetlclal roaultn from the ue of your KiiKllidi Heniedy Thctordlal Bulmoi rlcum and Lotbrou'ii Tonic, l'illi in a cae ol tfVeat Nervoua lability and by member of our family who hod beun iimle Irealinent by different doctor lor nearly three vnaiD pant without any apparent benefit there-h om but your medicines have produced a moat womlerful 'ohltnge for the better jd the patiepk now enjoya comparatively excellent health. Mr II AUUIKTSTl Rtilft. 1 8 We tell all ith hoin we are acquainted, who are similarly afflicted, to try your niodlclues. WHOLESALE AGENTS. JOHN K.

HKNKV New York tltv. llOLLuW.VY A Fhiladol't. SUTII a HANCHL ilaltimore, Md. WKrOKH A IHlTTKK, Jioslou, Mrm. K.

MOMTKUHK A New Orleans. La. VAN 81IAACK, STKVK.NSON A BKlD.Chl-cnKo.lll. JOHN P. PAHKR, Inrlnnati, Ohio, STItONW A COkli, Clevoiand, Oblo.

OLMNH St. Lou In, Mo. For tale by ilnig gists enorrily etsry wuer 1r. l-othro may' beeoitod profeMloaalljr hym.uirroeorcnn Or b. Hyiies, Cc 102 oi 111 Fourth KX( KI.SIOK GAITKR! -rm: r.v Geo.

W. Shaw Smetliicg New Call and Ex amine them ALSO ONK OK THE STOCKS OK CUSTOM BOOTS, SHOES AN') SLIITERS WHICH WE A HE ELL1NG VERY LOW I OK CASH No. 22 East Bt.oaimvay, MATTOON. ILLS. Kind ClasH Instruction In Music.

Those ilchirioiiAof the best instruction hi muxioon riano, Organ or Violin nhould call on Profesuor Charles fi. Ruth, on Kant Charleston street, lie alw tune I'lunog and guarantees satU-factlon 1oth In lnstfttifhn nnl timing. it i iA i iJ i.